Last year I was reading the book “The Secret”. It was about how the law of attraction and your thinking can affect your life. Thinking about positive things will attract positive things into your life and thinking about the negative will attract the negative. In the book were stories of real life testimonies and tips on how to instill positive thinking.
So I came across this section and posted the below photo on Facebook saying, “I can afford to ride to Italy in 2 to 3 years time. It is happening!”
The first thought of friends when I told them about Master Goh and Samantha’s travelling the world on their motorcycle and I wanted to do the same. They would often say, “They must be super rich” and went on to give reasons why it is impossible for they themselves to do it. I read about a Vietnamese girl who travelled to 25 countries with US$700. I believe it is not always about how rich the traveller is but how resolute he or she is.
I know many are skeptical about this whole law of attraction thing. But I think there is no harm in putting it to practice. Anyway I was already applying similar positive thinking and visualisation learnt from Sports Psychology session when I was a school team sailor.
The nights before my Traffic police assessments, I always visualise my test route and so far have never failed a single assessment. For dirt biking, I remembered stopping at the foot of One Tree Hill visualising myself riding up, taking the correct lining. (I flipped 2-3 times in the previous attempt.) Then, I took a deep breathe and opened the throttle, picking up the momentum. 5 secs later, I was at the top of the hill unscathed.
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| The first time riding up the gnarly slopes of One Tree Hill without back flipping. |
Back to increasing my earning, last year, I was still drawing a Diploma holder salary, taking home less than $2,000 a month, despite being a new uni graduate. A few of my friends suggested that I should job hop. That is a better chance in getting pay increment with my new qualification.
However, I also do not want to hop into a job not in line of my interest which is Animals. And there is not many of such jobs in Singapore. I have always been working with animals (two years as a Vet Nurse and now doing Aquaculture) and hope to pursue Post-grad studies in Zoology.
I am not that affluent to be studying full-time or heading overseas for my grad studies. 2 years of working after poly, I decided to return to school but cringed at the thought of having to receive allowance from my mum again. So I undertook a part-time degree programme in Biomedical Science while working full-time.
It is not really related to what I want to do but it is the closest thing I can get. However, during the course of the programme I was always choosing my topic and major based on my interest and not because it is easier to score. But of course, I still want to score. My goal was to get First-Class Honours.
For a Viva Voce exam, we could talk about anything relating to Biotechnology. While many of my course mates relate it to Biomedical application, I talked about Environmental applications, relating the Biotechnological techniques in helping the environment, including In-vitro meat. If we can successfully grow meat in the lab, many animals do not have to die for our consumption anymore, less greenhouse gases production too. Being an ethical vegetarian, this is something of particular interest to me. It did not feel like an vocal exam, I actually enjoyed talking about it. It was a risk to diverge from the usual topics but I guess my examiners were impressed that I talked about things not found in the lecture notes.
I scored A for that module. Every A’s count and I always visualised myself opening that final result slip stating I scored first-class honours. When that really happened, it felt so surreal. I was jumping for joy that I could penetrate through the ceiling. Maybe a first-class honours degree will bring me closer to a post-grad scholarship.
After completing the programme, I did try applying for jobs relating to animals work but my credentials is not that relevant so I do not really get a response. Never mind, I requested for a transfer to the Veterinary Technology Department and am currently working with fishes. It was a compromise, still drawing a diploma holder pay but working with something I like.
On the other hand, I feel that I have little right to demand a higher pay because I am very new to the Aquaculture field. First-class honours graduate in Biomedical Science, big f**k? I really do not have much knowledge about fishes to offer in exchange for that extra remuneration. I still need to wash fish tanks, waddle in mud to catch horseshoe crab and ask duh-e questions that an aquaculture student would not be asking.
With that dream (soon to be reality) of traveling in mind, I still need to increase my earnings. Setting myself a target before I set off, I planned how much to put aside every month. To achieve that, I moonlighted at a restaurant before a more lucrative offer as a tutor came by. It is paying 8 times more than my job as a waitress and less tiring.
I received a job offer from the Zoo but it was paying much lower than what I am getting. Still, I am pretty glad that I held on to my current job because a series of incidents happened this year.
Sometime early this year, the HR announced an across the board pay revision for all the Technical Support Officer. This has never happened in the 4 years I was working there. Probably took them quite sometime to realise they have been underpaying us. I received a pay increment with backpayment dating to last year.
Two weeks ago, I got called to my Director’s Office to receive my promotion letter. Pay increment again! Director sat me down and talked to me for a good half an hour about the art of giving – the more you give, the more you receive.
Giving has always instill a sense of empowerment in me, it comes naturally to me especially giving to my family. It dawns on me as I reflected on what I gave and received, the selfish act a friend had done and then a dilemma she faced afterwards. Are all these good happenings as a result of giving or the law of attraction?
At times, I get really frustrated and worn out when the work load was crazy. On the other hand, getting paid to do something I like and to learn cool stuff is probably the best bargain I can get.
At the recent staff communication session, my colleagues appealed for volunteers for their glycemic index research and there is remuneration for that. (It is open to public as well.) Opportunity to earn extra bucks presents itself again.
Every now and then, I received ad hoc jobs during the weekends. $$$ again!
Then, I was offered the opportunity to go Japan for training. I must learn Japanese. This has nothing to do with improving my earnings but it is a progress to becoming a polyglot.
You can say that me getting first-class honours and the promotion is due to me studying and working my ass off. Nothing more. Ok, yes. How about the lucrative offer as a tutor, the sudden across the board pay increment and the opportunity to volunteer for remuneration? Mere coincidences or law of attraction at work or because I was being selectively aware to good happenings?
Just browse through your Facebook news feed today, do you notice one particular person who is always ranting about shitty happenings and people. I do have one. She always complains, like “My life is shit, why not just die” kind. Probably she is simply attracting all these negative stuff to herself unknowingly.
7 years ago, I had a depressive period that I thought I cannot get out. Every negative thought led to spiralling cascade of events. Emotionally abused, failing my exam, suicidal thoughts. Thinking back, my mind was totally f**ked up but it was also my most creative period. I wrote many poems and as I read them now, I cannot believe they were written by me. I will post them up separately but it can be depressing to read. Call me Emo kid, I do not care. Probably that was what Kurt Cobain was going through to get all those songs going before he took his own life.
What eventually brought me out of that was actually a trip to Vietnam with my coursemates and lecturers. It took my mind off a lot of things that was happening at home. We befriended the Hmong girls at Sapa. My lecturer asked one of the girl, Sho, what do your parents do?
“My mother works.”
“How about your dad?” Dr Chang asked. At Sapa, we saw the Hmong women making a living by making and selling handicrafts. I hardly see the men.
“He drinks a lot and sometimes beat my mother,” Sho said.
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| With the Hmong Girls in Sapa. |
Those innocent-looking, almond-shaped eyes of hers had witnessed things beyond innocence that we cannot fathom. But these girls looked so carefree and happy, I can never tell what was going on at their homes. I think they spent more time on the streets, befriending tourists, selling handicrafts than being at home. I can tell you, these girls can speak more languages than most.
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| They learnt how to make flower handbands from an Australian lady and they were teaching us. |
One thing I learn from them – Surround yourself with positive people and things. Stay away from people and things that hurts you and to cruelly say, even if they are your family members. As much as you love them, sometimes, it is really frustrating to challenge them.
Doing so will eventually make you lose your sanity. So, drop that expectation. I decided that my life has no place for stubborn people who refuse to budge a single nanometre. I will not give up my sanity for their need to be always right.
At Vietnam, I saw Vespas and decided I wanted to get one in Singapore. When I was back in Singapore, I kept myself occupied with part-time job and out of home. I focused on other things like getting my motorcycle licence and stopped thinking shit.
Last time, I used to cry suddenly in the bus or bus stop when I thought about sad things. Damn embarrassing. Whenever I ride, I focus on the road and surrounding, it spares my mind from wandering into negativity.
Riding saved my sanity. Things only got better after that. I received less provocation from the person who gave me shit, I stopped talking to him unless it is necessary. I made many good friends through riding, many of them have a positive impact on my life. Thank you, you know who you are.
This law of attraction, it is up to you to believe it. Rather than ranting about what shitty things that have happened to you, it does not hurt to count your blessings either. So stop torturing yourself with those negative thought yeah?